A friend of mine confided in me that she has been frustrated for almost 25 years about her husband’s unhealthy food and lifestyle decisions. She told me that she knows what he should be doing and makes suggestions, but he does not listen or change. Now his health is suffering. He is overweight, stressed, and has no energy to enjoy life. She has almost given up. She has stopped trying new healthy foods for family dinners because she knows her husband is not adventurous. This is not only affecting him, but their relationship, and her happiness too.
Here are a few things perhaps she can do.
Stop the criticism, eyeball rolling and looks when he makes a (in your eyes) poor choice.
Don’t tell him what to do, just stop buying the junk and don’t bring it into the house. If he wants it, he can get it while he is away from the house, at work or running errands on the weekend. This way, he’ll be cutting down, and have an opportunity to only have healthy choices around.
Know that you can be a role model with your actions.
Buy and cook healthy food at home. Start with a lean protein you and he like, and cook it in an interesting and tasty way, perhaps with a dry rub of spices in the oven (baked or broiled). If he likes sauce, try a crockpot recipe with vegetables and spices he likes. Start to mix brown rice with white rice and slowly transition to brown. Do the same for pasta. Offer salad and a variety of colorful vegetables at meals. Pour water at the table for the family. Be consistent with your actions.
Have a loving talk.
He’ll be annoyed that his favorite things aren’t around. Tell him you love him but can’t be a part of him putting junk in his body and watching him suffer. If he wants to continue doing it, she can’t stop him, but will not help him. It should be a two-minute firm message with a hug, not an argument. End of story - and move on. Hopefully over time, he will see he needs to take responsibility for his own health and vitality.
Is there a loved-one in your life who you are worried about due to their food and lifestyle choices? Perhaps you have made suggestions but they are resistant to change. It might be a tension between you or maybe even negatively affecting your relationship. What should you do? And what if that friend of family member does not live with you? What can you do or have you done?
Would love to hear from you!