Years ago when my son was in 4th grade, his teacher asked the students to draw a picture of their family and then make a list of five things each family member likes or likes to do. My son’s likes included playing with friends, eating, playing soccer, Pokemon, and chess. The list my son wrote for my husband included playing golf, cycling, photography, watching movies, and talking about the stock market. The list of his mother’s likes (that’s me) was cooking, grocery shopping, cleaning the house, working, and talking on the phone. What a wake up call!!! I saw the way we each spent our time through the eyes of my son. I was of course upset that he saw me “enjoying” my life this way, and also thought about what his life with a wife in the future might look like. I had to do something to change my life but I didn’t know what to do. The cooking, groceries, laundry, etc. still had to happen. And truthfully, if you asked me what I liked doing, I couldn’t tell you because my life was all about “need to do.” This was no one’s fault but my own.
When you are about to take off on an airplane, what do the flight attendants always say? “In case of loss of cabin pressure, put on your own oxygen mask first before helping others.” Since that time I’ve made some great progress with taking care of myself which has resulted in more overall satisfaction with my life.
One of the tools I use with my clients is the Circle of Life, where you can examine on a rating scale how satisfied you are with certain areas of your life such as relationships, joy, finances, health, exercise, home environment, education, career, etc. These are the things in life that really feed and nurture us; our primary food. When completed, the tool gives a snapshot of perhaps the imbalance of the circle and offers an opportunity to reflect on how to improve a specific area.
Now that the summer is over and a new season has begun, this is a great time to reach for that oxygen mask! Where do you need nourishment?